Gubby

After reading Laura's comment about my necklace with Gubby's diamonds I decided I wanted to talk a bit about her and explain what a significant role she played in my life while I was growing up. I'm not sure how old I was when I started calling her Gubby, but I was very young, and it just stuck. Gubby was the most involved in our lives growing up, mostly because she lived the closest. Granny (dad's mom) lives in Victoria, Grandad (dad's dad) lived in Salmon Arm (he's in Agassiz now, but growing up he was always in the Okanagan) and Granpa (mom's dad) lived in England. Granpa passed away about a year and a half ago now from what we believe was cancer.

Gubby was always there for all of the significant events growing up. We always saw her on birthdays, at Christmas, usually on Easter, on Mother's Day and then probably at least once a month other than that. When we were younger we used to go to her townhouse for sleepovers and we were always treated to pancake breakfasts with hot chocolate at Smitty's. When mom went back to work, every year on the first day of school Gubby would come stay with us and drive us to school and then pick us up after and we'd usually go for lunch at Smitty's. At Christmas she would make butterballs and shortbread and we could never get enough of those seasonal treats. Christmas Eve she'd always go to my aunt's farm because at midnight supposedly the animals can speak.

When I was very young, Gubby married a man from California. Unfortunately he passed away shortly after. With the money that was left to her, she took us to Hawaii. Our first trip was to Honolulu when I was in Grade 3. Brad had his 2nd birthday there. From then until when I was in Grade 12 we went to Maui every year at Spring Break. We also went at Christmas twice with her; Luke joining us the 2nd time on Boxing Day. She came with us on one of our holidays to the Bahamas and swam with dolphins with us in the Florida Keys. You could tell they knew she was older and they were so gentle with her. She came on our holiday to the British Virgin Islands and toughed it out on the sailboat with the rest of us.

I can hardly think of a family event without a memory of her. We had so much fun in Hawaii and went so many times that it really became our family's special place. It was "our" beach and the whales out in the ocean were there just for us as well. We laugh about the gin and tonics she used to pour and how she'd force us to eat just one more baked potato.

She loved jade and always had a huge puzzle on the go. Her ears weren't pierced so all her earrings were clip-ons. I used to wear her towels over my head and pretend I had long hair. I used to sleep on a cot in her room when I was little and I told my parents she growled at night. I had a bad dream sleeping over once in the room upstairs and since then I've been convinced there are crabs at the bottom of the bed with the green quilt. She always had baths instead of showers. She made the best raspberry jam I've ever had. When I was sick, mom used to make me "Gubby's eggs", which was just a soft boiled egg mashed up with butter.

Gubby looked after Jebus a few times right after we first got him. I always felt horrible after picking him up and driving away, leaving her all alone. She'd say "you're my boy right Jebus? My boy." She was a cat person but didn't want to get one because she figured she die before the cat would. I thought that was a terrible attitude and so one day I called her with the story that I saw a posting in our building saying someone was moving and couldn't take their cat with them and was looking for a new home. She said "I guess I'd better take him, shouldn't I?" I then went to the SPCA and picked out a nice black and white cat, 8 years old. His name was Miles and they became best friends. I eventually told her the real story, I was so worried she would be mad, but all she said was "oh Jenny, thank you."

She really was a traveller. She visited more countries that I can name and always brought back interesting souvenirs. Kangaroo fur coasters, an ostrich egg, photos of her riding camels and petting tigers and standing on the Great Wall of China. I think I can give her credit for my passion for travel. Without her, we would have never had the perfect wedding that we had in Hawaii.

In May of 2005 she attended my University graduation. By then she was having difficulties that were later attributed to a brain tumour, which arose from cancer deep in her lungs. It just all happened so fast. She had quit smoking many years before but had been a heavy smoker for years prior to that. She had intended on coming to Hawaii and couldn't bear the thought of not being at my wedding. The closer we got to the date though, we realized it just wasn't going to work out for her and started looking into ways that we could broadcast the ceremony to her. We were going to wire a microphone into my hair with a wireless connection to a cell phone so that she could hear what was going on.

Sadly, she passed away 3 days before. Brings tears to my eyes thinking about it. Mom and dad were out for their morning walk when we got the phone call from Auntie Sandra. I remember it was Monday because Luke and I had our appointment with the marriage commissioner to get our wedding license. Happy and sad at the same time. I wish that we could have been with her, but at the time, being so wrapped up in exciting wedding details I really don't know how we could have worked it out. She didn't want a funeral or a service and I feel almost as if we haven't had a chance to really grieve for her. I think about her a lot and I miss her. I wish she could have seen the wedding and seen how many people came to be there with us. It makes me so happy that everyone had such a good time and I am so glad to have shared that special place with everyone.

I know that she would have loved the wedding, she'd seen my dress and we'd talked about how it was all going to work out. We talked to her on the phone while we were away and she knew everything we were doing and was so familiar with the area I'm sure she could picture it all. Still makes me sad though. As a family we are going to go on a holiday sometime in the next couple years and that will be our tribute to her. I still can't believe she's gone sometimes though. I feel the same way with my Granpa. Maybe because I didn't always see them everyday they weren't always in my thoughts and so sometimes I remember little things and then realize things aren't the same anymore. I suppose that's the way it goes. I think about Gubby more now than I did while she was alive and I wish I had made more of an effort to see her more. We met for lunch a few times and again always saw her at birthday and things like that. I suppose it's normal to feel like that when there's nothing left that can be done.

I love all of my grandparents and they all are so important to me. They seem to play such significant roles when we are young and growing up. We grow away from them and get wrapped up in our own lives but they are always still there, loving us just as much as they did when we were first born and so special. I can't imagine what it would have been like growing up without them. Trips to England to visit Granpa and magic tricks and letters with secret messages. Visits to Victoria to see Granny (and now Uncle Bob, who is basically our grandfather as well) with walks on the breakwater and along the beach and staying at the Royal Scot and getting a mint chocolate for every stuffed animal brought and left on the bed. The playhouse Grandad built for us and all the other things he made - rocking horses, appliances for the playhouse, lanterns for our Christmas Eve Christmas light walk and Carrie's wooden ride-on jet. I have so many great memories and feel so lucky to have had such a great family and such a great upbringing. I guess I just feel so much love for them all and I really hope they know how much they mean to me.

So now Gubby is gone, and I miss her, but I will never forget her and I wouldn't be the person I am today if things had been any different. I hope you all go hug your grandparents now. :)